Oh, My God, You’re Wearing Pants? 

By Esraa 

What is it with three a.m.? It seems like I get the writing bug around this time most nights.  Here I am sitting in my room, in Pittsburgh, while the entire world is sleeping, typing away this next blog. I hope you are all ready for this, because a big rant may be coming your way. My eyes may just get stuck in the back of my head from the amount of times I will roll my eyes while reliving these memories. Here I am in college, getting ready to go to my classes and by some random chance, I chose today to wear pants. It just may seem that the world has ended, Esraa is wearing pants. I repeat ESRAA IS WEARING PANTS! Make sure when you see her, you comment about it, while you’re at it, snap a picture! Maybe I’m a little bit over dramatic, I’ll admit, but this is how it feels in my head.  

It seems like everyone I meet along the way will say, “Wow, I have never seen you wear pants before,” or jokingly… I think: “Bent Al sheikh is wearing pants.” The eye is rolling. I would tell them “why don’t you take a picture so you can document it in history?” I kid you not, many did! At the moment I laugh, I know it’s all fun and games. However, in my head, an entirely different reaction is happening. Most likely the person I’m having this conversation with is wearing pants. I’m not freaking out, why are you? 

See this scenario above mostly happens with my friends, so it doesn’t bother me as much as the next scenario. I get it, it’s a shock; I rarely wore pants. I preferred the flow of skirts, and many times I wore an Abaya to school {a traditional Islamic dress}. For me to randomly walk in one day, in pants, was out of the norm. Their reactions made me more and more uncomfortable to wear pants again, I would think ten times before I did. 

Now, this scenario Is where I have a major problem. The older generation of the community. If it happened once, it happened a few million times. They will see me randomly in the store as I hurriedly shop for a particular thing or two, or by some chance, I have stopped by the masjid to give my father something.  Low and behold!  Esraa is wearing pants! I can see it in their eyes when they look me up and down, the judgment in their tone as they comment on my choice of dress. Many times, I’d hear it at home when one lady would tell my mom, that she saw Esraa in the store and she was wearing pants. Yup, I think my eyes just got stuck there.

They made me want to scream! Did they not understand what they were doing? That at times this made me feel like rebelling. I would wear pants out of my comfort just to prove a point. It was ridiculous. Who were you to pass that judgment? Wasn’t it a little hypocritical that you felt the need to make this an issue as you stood before me in your pants? 

Why? Because I was Bent Al Shiekh? Aren’t we both Muslim? If it wasn’t allowed for me, then it’s sure as heck wasn’t allowed for you. Who set these standards and rules that I needed to follow? What right was given to you to determine the way I dressed? I followed my dress code based on the teachings of my faith; those were the rules I followed. Pants were a rare thing to me, because modesty was a major key in the way my parents raised me, and in my personal preference. When I wore pants, I made sure my shirts were long. I don’t need to defend myself to anyone; my only judge is God. 

So, what the heck is your point Esraa? We get it, we shall never comment on your pants again. Well, if this is your train of thought, firstly I thank you.  But, my point here is, while you think what you are doing isn’t that big of a deal and that it may be a joke or some weird kind of concern, keep in mind the undeserved pressure you place upon us, “Children of the Shiekh.” Very recently I got to know about a girl I knew while growing up; she was a daughter of Shiekh, as well. I was saddened to hear about the route she had taken in her life, and I pray to God to bring her back to clarity, but this is what can happen when the judgment and pressure gets too much. We, as the Muslim community, need to work on being more accepting, forgiving and welcoming. My rant is coming to an end, and my eyes are rolling back to place. Thanks for taking the time to read. 

Peace out, 

Esraa 
P.S I type this as I’m wearing pants…